[TW: This article discusses miscarriage and may be triggering for some readers.]
In July 2021 we found out I was pregnant with our first baby.
After a reasonably straightforward pregnancy, I was induced at 40 weeks as I was suffering with obstetric cholestasis. After a long three days, I was at stage four of induction and there was no sign of my baby girl arriving.
After having a catheter fitted but no fluid coming out, I was taken down for an emergency caesarean as the doctors believed the baby was laying on my kidney. I was told if they didn’t get my baby out as soon as possible I could end up with kidney failure. I was so overwhelmed by the whole experience. The induction had been extremely uncomfortable, and I hadn’t slept at all. I couldn’t wait for it to all be over and to finally see my baby girl.
So, in April 2022 via emergency C-section, our beautiful daughter, Dorothy was born weighing 9lbs 9! This explained why my kidneys were struggling - she was taking up a fair bit of room! After Dorothy was born, I suffered with post-eclampsia and stayed in hospital for another four days. I felt so unwell and those first few days as a new mum were a complete blur. Finally, we were allowed home and started our new lives with our baby girl.
In the summer of 2023, we decided it was time for baby number two and started trying. I fell pregnant pretty much straight away, but sadly it resulted in miscarriage. We decided to carry on trying straight away but I didn’t fall pregnant until the following year. I naively assumed that because I had fallen pregnant the first and second time very quickly, trying again would be straightforward.
Although in the grand scheme of things less than a year isn’t a long time to try to fall pregnant, it felt like a lifetime. Month after month of negative testing, I started to think it wasn’t going to happen for us. I appreciate some people struggle with fertility for years and I did already have my beautiful daughter, but that didn’t make it any easier each month. I still longed for another baby and I felt like everyone around me was falling pregnant. I hated myself for feeling so envious of others instead of feeling pleased for them.
When I finally had a positive test, I refused to let myself get too excited as I knew that heartbreak could be around the corner following my previous miscarriage. I spent the next few weeks trying not to think about anything too much. I didn’t buy anything or let myself even look at the cute baby clothes in the shops. We went to our 12-week scan, and I was a complete bag of nerves. I kept saying to my partner it could be bad news; we need to be prepared for the worst.
As the sonographer scanned me, she was staring hard at the screen and with a smile on her face she said, “I’m pleased to tell you, you are expecting unidentical twins!” I couldn’t believe it. I burst into tears and so did my partner. After losing a baby we were now being blessed with two. I was so shocked but felt so truly lucky.
At 16 weeks we decided to go for an early gender reveal scan. My daughter came along and was so excited. She kept talking about how she was going to be a big sister and couldn’t wait to have a sister to play with. My partner and I tried to explain it could be a boy and a girl or two girls or two boys, but she wasn’t having any of it!
We went into the scan and the sonographer told us, “Twin one is… a boy.” My partner jumped up and punched the air. He was thrilled to be getting the son he had always dreamed of. Then the sonographer said, “Twin 2 is… also a boy!” My partner was jumping up and down and crying. I don’t think I have ever seen him so pleased. My daughter burst into tears and said, “But I wanted a sister!” I reassured her that it meant more one-on-one girly time with mummy, and she soon got over the upset of getting two brothers. She now tells everyone she is going to be a big sister to two brothers, and she can’t wait to help mummy look after them.
This pregnancy has been completely different to my first with lots of health challenges, but I just keep reminding myself how fortunate we are. So far, I have suffered with vertigo, high blood pressure, a viral infection causing a three-day hospital stay, and early labour signs resulting in steroid injections, but I am staying positive and hoping to carry my boys as far as possible.
I am now 34 weeks and will hopefully be having a planned caesarean at 37 weeks which is the week my daughter turns three. So, we’re potentially going to have three children all with the same birthday! We are so excited for what the future holds for us as a family of five.